6 Step Reframing
6 Step Reframing is quite an effective process that you can use for almost anything.
Here is my version. Instead of using the word "part" or "sub personality" as is traditionally done in NLP I recommend using the words "behavior", "feeling", "pattern", "unconscious mind", or "intention". While talking about parts or sub_personalities is ok, the reason I prefer these other terms is they are more wholistic. They do not imply internal fractionation.
1. Find a pattern of thought, behavior, emotion, physiology, result, relationship, attitude, resistance, or interference that you would like to change.
2. Get into communication with the pattern / behavior.
A. "Will the behavior of X communicate with me? "
If it's not obvious set up a signal system for yes and no.
B. Apologize for not being more appreciative. Thank the behavior (or your unconcsious mind) for everything it's wanted for
you, and for all the effort it has put forth for your benefit through the behavior / pattern.
C. Welcome and appreciate the behavior / pattern as a valuable resource.
D. Ask the pattern / behavior (or your unconscious mind) if there is anything it would like to tell you, or if it has any message for you, or if there is anything it would like communicate.
i) Thank the (pattern / behavior / your unconscious mind) for it's communication
3. What is (the pattern / behavior's / unconscious mind's) intention for you? What is it seeking to accomplish for you?
If there is any difficulty discovering this, use as many of the following manuevers as needed:
a) Pretend or Act as if, or have the pattern or behavior pretend or act as if it knows.
b) is there any reason to not tell you? --- possible reframing with this pattern
c) reframe the pattern of not knowing, or not being willing to tell
d) what stops you from knowing? -- reframe
e) what would happen if you knew? --- reframe
f) does any aspect of your unconcious mind know?
g) Is it ok to assume a positive intention -- this may reveal other patterns of self - doubt, or self mistrust to work with if the answer is "no".
h) provide a checklist of intentions
common intentions include:
Safety, protection, self worth, love, being OK, peace, freedom, fun, certainty, validation, connection, significance, learning, making a difference, looking good, being right, winning, satisfaction, fulfillment, approval, acceptance, justification, security, etc.
i) recheck your signal system
j) check rapport -- is there any underlying upset, or negative emotion with this pattern? --> reframe this pattern of upset or negative emotion first.
SHIFT TO REFERRING TO THE INTENTION at this point.
4) Go to your creative resources and ask them to generate at least 3 new alternative that will as effective and as available as the previous choices in meeting your intention(s) of ___.
5) Ask the Intention if it agrees that the new alternatives are as good or better than the previous choices.
a) If not, recycle to step 4, or to step 3 if needed to get new choices and more / "deeper" intentions.
b) Ask the Intention if it will take fully responsible for trying out the new alternatives in the times and places it would have previously chosen the old options.
c) Run through full virtual reality fantasies of using the new choices, in all the situations in the future
6) Is there any objection, or hesitation, or reluctance to any of the new alternatives?
if so, recycle to step 2 with the objection / hesitation.
Continue to recycle through this process as many times as necessary. Occasionally this may be quite a high number, in the dozens or more. Typically it only takes 1 to 3 rounds through to make a change. Be willing to do whatever it takes.
Namaste,
Robert
I came across a definition of the Magickal True Will. "The intersection of all vectors of intention."
Years ago, one of the first distinction of Cybernetic Calibration Systems is that "If you are congruent enough, the world molds itself around your will." This is the experience of synchronicity. You think something and it shows up.
In early 2006 I saw Deepak Chopra speak in Denver. He said that the regular experience of synchroncity is one of the best measures of your spiritual progress.
We'll look at the structure of what is popularly being called these days, "Manifesting", or "The Secret", in another article. For now, let's make the following point: Most of us have our attention and intention scattered, including much more than half of our intention being on what we don't want.
That's sort of how an incadescant light bulb works. It emits light waves out in every direction. Just like how our intention is typically scattered in all directions.
Consider a laser. A laser is essentially a light emitter as well. Isn't it fascinating that a 100 watt lightbulb can light a room well enough to easily read by, while a 100 watt laser can cut through metal. The difference is that ALL of a the lightwaves that a laser emits are perfectly aligned and going in the same direction, and at the same frequency.
The key to easily achieving your goals is to have the vast majority of your attention and intention on your goals. In other words we want to emulate the laser.
How do you we do that??
Here is a 4 step format that is quite powerful.
1) Decide on what it is that you would like to have happen. A specific, measurable result.
2) Meditate until you enter a place that can be described as "Calm abiding". That is steady complete peace. No little stresses, no worries, no concerns, no problems. Everything is tranquil, and serene, and calm with no effort to make it that way.
Depending on where your mental state is when you start, that may take 2 hours of meditation, it may take 8 hours, it may take longer. Don't move on to step 3 until you have this state of effortless and complete serenity.
3) 100% Alignment of Intention on your desired result. Like the laser. This is still sort of a meditation. You start by scanning through all of your intentions, and allowing them to transform into the intention of your desired result. Keep noticing your intentions, your thoughts, your feelings. Notice the intention or intentions that are there beneath each thought, worry, and concern. Allow them to find how they will be met by having your desired result happen.
Then, once that is thoroughly complete, extend the meditative awareness to others, all others. Notice their intentions, and have them allow those intentions to align themselve with your result, and notice how their intentions will be served by your result. Now, this is not necessarily telepathy, or anything like that. It may be, who knows? What we can say for sure is that this is your mental idea of them and their intentions. So in other words these are your projected ideas, and intentions.
Then extend the meditation again to all things, beings, and places.
4) Imagine collecting all of the intentions into your solar plexus.
Those are the 4 steps.
Circle of Excellence
1. Access a state of excellence...then step into an imagined circle on
the floor.
2. In a different location, identify a future situation where
excellence is desired.
3. “When I touch ____, step into circle of excellence and recover
excellent state. (practice)
4. Specifically how things might not go well in X. As person begins
to access problem, touch shoulder so that person steps into circle to
recover state of excellence.
5. Elicit the situation and check for state of excellence
This is an accelerated learning format which expands and refines the "Creating a New Part" process that appeared in the book, "Reframing And The Transformation Of Meaning." by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. Interestingly enough, this is for both learning new abilities and developing personal resources. I really don't know what the limitations are.
The Creating Abilities format is very goal oriented. It requires that you start with a desired end result in mind. However, it's ok if you are starting from something you don't want, just turn it around with the question, "What you do want to be able to do in that situation?" You might also think of "What would be a new way of being in the world that would make the old habit from the past unnecessary?"
This process is broader, and more impactful than learning new behaviors, it's about developing capability. Are you capable of achieving a particular result? Ultimately, the answer in most cases is "Yes!" The standard to apply in order to determine if you are capable of something is not necessarily whether or not you are already getting the result. Whether you are already generating a result is not an accurate nor fair way to determine the extent of immediate competencies. That is to say the realm of things that if you were to invest a little energy into mental preparation you could rapidly become competent at. This format, when used will actually expand the range of things you can do.
Competence, or even excellence, starts with being directed toward some type of defined end result. In order to appreciate competence it must, ultimately, be recognizable by the results it produces.
If competence can not be demonstrated it raises the question of whether the person claiming a particular ability is deluding themselves and others. Therefore, this process builds in several checks to help ensure we are building actual competence.
Since the real world happens everyday we might as well go ahead and be at our best all of the time. That's an ability, you know. The ability to be at your best all time, no matter what is going on is POWERFUL. You have a number of different kinds of bests - such as your best talents, your best attitudes, your best enthusiasm, your best confidence, your best compassion, your best leadership, your best focus, etc.
Keep in mind that this procedure, while sometimes astonishing, will not gloss over ignorance. If somebody knows very little about flying, and the only method they use to learn is this format...I would not want to fly with them. Sometimes there are pieces of information, and real world experience that you absolutely have to have in order to be efective at getting a particular result. This process will not usually magically provide them.
This is generative process, a powerful way of evolving yourself into more of who you want to be.
At this point, before we actually get into the specifcs of rapidly developing skills, abilities, and resources I'd like you to make a list of competencies, abilities and resources you would like to develop, and results you'd like to be able to produce. It can be small things like the ability to consistenly floss your teeth after every meal. It might be large things like being able to easily sell massive amounts of a particular product. You get to choose.
Competencies I want to develop ...............
Things I want to be even more competent at (better at) .........
Resources I would like to further develop.....
The Creating Human Ability Format
1. What ability or personal resource would you like to develop even more fully? We all have some level of ability and resourcefulness at just about everything - even it's negligible. It helps to start by realizing that you already have some of the ability you want,
It is very important with this process for you to honor and acknowledge all internal objections, resistance, doubts, fears, hesitations, and so forth.
1a What is the goal that you would like to achieve by developing this ability? What is the purpose of achieving the goal? What will that do for you?
1b. In addition to your goals, how else will you benefit by having this ability? Make a list of benefits. What will you gain? How will your life be better?
2. What do you already know about how to do this? What are the component pieces of the ability? What are the sub components? What are the sub - sub components?
2a Have you ever done this, or anything similar? Relive, and step inside of each memory. What did you see, hear, feel, taste, smell? What were you aware of internally, and externally? Step inside of each experience and access all aspects of doing X or parts of X. Go through each memory visually, auditorily, and kinesthetically (feelings).
2b How will you know that you have this ability? What will you see, hear, and feel?
2c Who do you know that has this ability? In your mind, watch and listen to them do it. What do you already know about how they do it?
2d Imagine stepping fully into your role model while they are demonstrating the ability. Pretend that you can look out of their eyes, hear through their ears, feel the way their body moves from the inside, and think their thoughts. What do you learn from this experience?
3. If you could already (substitute name of ability here) what would you look like? What would you sound like? Ask this of yourself in the form, "If I could already X, what would I look like?" Or, "What would I look like if I could already X?" For instance, if you are working on public speaking your question could be, "If I could already speak well to groups of people, what would I look like?"
3a Imagine that 6 months to one year have gone by. Pretend, just for a moment, that you are now 1 year in the future. During the last year you have mastered this ability, and have effectively and easily used this ability numerous times, on multiple occasions. See the you in front of you that has mastered this. Watch her/him actually performing the ability. Notice the way this future you moves, breathes, talks, walks, thinks, and gestures.
3b Watch yourself on a movie screen as you demonstrate this ability fully. Create a detailed set of images of how you would behave if you were actually demonstrating whatever you will have to do to achieve the goal of the ability.
3c. When you see a whole sequence that you are satisfied with have step into the movie of yourself demonstrating your new ability. Go through the whole sequence again from the inside, feeling what it is like to do these behaviors. Notice what you see, hear, feel and how you enjoy the experience.
3d. Once you reach the end of the movie consider - Is anything missing? Do I need anything else to really know I can do this?
3e. Recycle to step 3, modifying your question to also add in the missing ingredient. For instance, if the ability is public speaking, and you noticed in step 3d that you were missing self confidence, and being comfortable, your new question for step 3 might be "If I could already comfortably and confidently speak well to groups of people, what would I look like?"
Then, continue through the process of steps 3a - 3e as many times as needed until you feel certain that you can do it.
4. If you could already do this exceptionally well, what feelings, and states of mind would you have while doing this? Enjoyment, creativity, fun, alertness, relaxation, humor, certainty, self esteem, pride, unstoppability, boldness, love, enthusiasm, etc.?? Make a list - what set of feelings if you had them while you were doing X, would make it easy?
Create a "stacked" anchor. An anchor is a trigger or stimulus that functions as an on switch for a certain feeling state, or set of feeling states. That is you will create a certain phrase and gesture that will trigger all of these powerful, positive emotions to be instantly available to you at any time in the future.
4a. Define the anchor. Think of an unusual way you could inconspicuously uniquely touch yourself, or a unique gesture that you will use as your anchor.
4b. Create a short word or phrase that you will say to yourself in your mind as you "fire" off your anchor.
4c. One by one, take each feeling on your list and go through the following steps 4d through keeping the anchor (gesture / touch and word or phrase) the same for all of them.
4d. Access strongly the first resource state on your list. There are 3 ways to access your resources:
1. Put yourself into the kind of physiology or way of using your body that you would have if you were in the state right now. How would you breathe if you were strongly feeling state ? What kind of expression would you have on your face? How would you sit or stand? How much tension or relaxation would you have? How would you gesture and move? Take on this physiology right now.
2. What could you feel X about right now? What could you be X'd about, if there were a lot of things you feel this way about, what could you feel this about if you wanted to feel this positive feeling now? What about that makes you feel X? Why do you feel X'd about that? How does that make you feel?
What else could you feel X about? What about that makes you feel X? Why do you feel X'd about that? How does that make you feel?
3. Remember a time when you felt this way. You can also imagine a time in the future when you would feel that way. Step into this experience as if it's happening now. Notice what you are picturing, and focusing on. What are you saying to yourself? What tone of voice are you using? How does your body feel?
4e Using one or more of the above methods of accessing a state of mind, get into this state of mind as strongly as you can. The more you go into the state the easier it gets to go even more fully into the state.
As you are strongly feeling this resource make your anchor gesture, and say your anchor phrase (use the same tonality each time).
Repeat steps 4d and 4e a few times. Get strongly into the state, and while you are fully experiencing the resource state make your anchor gesture and say your trigger word or phrase. Repeat this until the gesture and trigger word start to feel like they are now linked. Almost as you can't even say the phrase and make the gesture without feeling the resource state.
4f. Test the trigger. Look around you, think of something else for a moment. Then as your attention is on something else, and state starts to fade a bit, do the trigger gesture and simultaneously say the trigger word/phrase in the special tonality. Ideally at this point you will yourself popped back into the resource state automatically.
Congratulations! You now have a way of instantly accessing these feelings anytime you want to experience them.
4g. Repeat 4d through 4f with each of the states on your list. Keep the anchor (aka combination of trigger gesture, and accompanying word/phrase plus the special tonality that goes with it ) the same each time through. This will set it up such that you can instantly access all of these states of mind simultaneously by simply using your anchor gesture and phrase.
Optional - Troubleshooting If you are experiencing any difficulty with the anchoring step.
Be sure you go into the breathing, face, and movement style that would go with the particular state. Be sure you're body and mind are both accessing the state.
Are you doing something else in your mind? If you are picturing a possible negative outcome while doing this, or talking to yourself about how it won't work or about something else, this process will not work very well. For this to work optimally you want to allow yourself to really get into the state you are anchoring. Let go, just for now, of any concerns about it. Let go of any other thoughts, and just allow yourself to step into your power.
If you have a lot of resistance to a particular state, or are having a lot of problems with the anchors you can just for now leave out that particular state.
Another choice is to go through the entire Creating Abilities format with the goal of developing the ability to quickly access a particular state of mind. Then, once you have developed more fully the ability to get into the state you desire, go through the Creating Abilities format again with the original outcome. You can recycle like this on any difficulty that comes up.
4f. At this point you should have a very powerful anchor. A combination of a phrase and gesture / touch that instantly allows you to access all the resource feelings on your list.
5. Clearing Personal History. What past memories do you have that conflict with this new ability you are developing? For instance, if the ability is to speak in front of groups with confidence - have you had times where you were the opposite? This is very common. Let's clear these memories out of the way. Use the Indexing Release Process from the book MindClearing to handle all of these. Make a list of all the memories that are the opposite of the ability, or conflict with it. Use the Indexing Release process with each one.
Here are some questions to get at these memories:
When weren't you able to do this, even though you wanted to?
Was there ever a time you realized you didn't this ability?
Did anyone ever tell you that you don't have this ability?
Did you ever promise, or make a vow, or decide not to ever have this ability?
Did you ever decide to be just like someone that didn't have this skill?
Were you ever ridiculed for having or wanting to have this ability?
Were you ever rewarded for NOT having it, or for the opposite of the skill?
Did you ever think it wasn't possible to do this?
Did you ever think you just weren't the kind of person that could do that?
Were you ever afraid of people would think if you were able to do this?
Did it ever seem like it wasn't safe or appropriate to manifest this ability?
What about the goal or benefits of the goal? Was there ever a time you decided it wasn't safe or ok or that you deserved or were the kind of person that could do, have or be that?
Make your list, and use the Indexing Release process on each memory or event from the past that has gotten in the way of you now fully being able to enjoy being extremely competent at this skill.
Depending on your history - you may have a lot of memories like this. It is possible to move onto step 6 after clearing some of the more negatively charged events. The more of those memories that have gone away from you fully having the ability, the easier it will be to manifest your new talents in the world.
6. Repeat steps 3 to 3e while holding your resource anchor. Repeat this until just imagining fully having this ability produces the same feelings as holding the resource anchor. It may take a few times through steps 3 to 3e holding your resource anchor to fully link the feelings of the anchor to the visualization. You can also explicitly add the feelings in your anchor to the As IF question in step 3.
At this point you are probably feeling pretty good about your new ability. Yet we have more to do to even more deeply install the ability and make it bullet-proof.
7. Ecology check. Ask inside ,"Does any part (aspect) of me object to my having the ability which would make that fantasy a reality?"
"Is there anything about the ability I don't like?"
"How will this impact my life, work, relationships, health, finances, integrity, community, and family?"
Is there anything that doesn't look right?
What could be the downside of this ability?
How does this sound to you?
How do you feel about having this ability?
- How do you feel about feeling that way about having this ability?
What will you lose by having this ability?
What will you gain?
What are the benefits and detriments of this ability?
What problems could be caused by my having this ability?
What would happen if I had this ability?
What would happen if I didn't have the ability?
What won't happen if I have this ability?
What will happen if I don't have ability?
What are the potential downsides of having this ability? (Note: There is always a downside.)
What will I have to give up to have this ability? (Note: There is always something to give up.)
7a. Make a complete written list of all objections, concerns, problems, negatives, losses, and potential downsides.
7b. For each objection or concern - what is the purpose of the objection or concern? What is the learning? What is important about the objection or concern? What does it do for you?
8. Satisfy all the objections.
a) Redefine the ability you are creating to take into account all the objections, concerns, and what is important about each one.
b) Go back to step 3 and make a new or modified fantasy that will satisfy all your concerns.
c) Check with every aspect of yourself to make sure all concerns are satisfied, and that the new ability will have no detrimental effects.
d) Repeat the Clearing Personal History step with any other memories that come to mind that could get in the way.
e) if you need any additional Resource States, add them to your "stacked" anchor and repeat step 6.
f) Repeat the Ecology Check steps again 7 & 8.
9. Enlist Your Unconscious Mind. Use a pendulum or muscle testing to communicate directly to your unconscious mind:
a) Unconscious mind, please analyze the movie / fantasy of my having this ability and pull from it the essential ingredients. Use this information to build the ability and make it a reality so that you (unconscious mind) can do this easily and exquisitely - at every moment it needs to be done. Begin now, and let me know with a feeling of certainty when you have completed this step fully.
b) Unconscious mind, do you now know what to do to achieve the outcome (specify) of this ability? Do you know what to do to fully integrate this ability as part of me?
If no - what do you need? Go get the resource. Or recycle.
c) Is it possible for you to manifest this ability in the world at every moment you need and want to manifest it? If not, what do you need to be able to ?
d) Is there any thing you need to learn or do to fully manifest this ability?
e) Unconscious mind, go ahead and make this ability fully available to me in all situations.
f) When will you start to make this ability fully available to me?
g) When will it be completely available?
10) Test. Ask yourself if you have the ability.
a. Imagine actually using the ability in a dozen possible future situations.
b. Imagine going back into your past, and having the ability from a very young age, and grow up through time, all the way to the present having this ability.
11.) Now, take your new ability through the Wisdom Grid.
12) Go do it in the real world. Learn from, and be empowered and excited by what ever happens.
While Reverse Reframing stands on it's own, this is another process that can be used following Reverse Reframing, and as a continuation of Reverse Reframing. The purpose of this checklist is to create a very deep level of congruence. Do not start with this process, use it as a follow up to previous parts work.
Phase 1. Clean up
A. Objections Scan
1. Any part have any objections to anything that happened here today?
2. Any part have any objections to any of the new alternatives?
3. Any part have not fully express it's intention today?
4. Any part concerned that it's intention will be not be met as well or better, with the new choices?
5. Any part not feel fully appreciated?
6. Any part not get included that needs to be included?
7. Any part have anything it wants to communicate?
8. Any part have any reservations to implementing any of the new alternatives?
9. Are there any other intentions that need to be included?
10. scan body.....scan emotions.....scan visual....scan internal dialogue
11. Was there any confusion of signals?
B. Responsibility
Live out a fantasy of being in 10 (at least) situations experiencing your new ways of being, doing, thinking, acting, and feeling.....
1. Does any part find any aspect of any of the new alternatives it's not willing to use?
2. Is any part not willing to use the new alternatives?
3. Does any part not like any aspect of any of the new alternatives?
4. Is any part not willing to take responsibility for any aspect of any of
the new alternatives?
5. Does any part have any times, places, contexts, situations, or people that it
does not want to use the new alternatives in or with?
6. Is any part not enthusiastic about any of the new alternatives?
7. Does any part not have ALL the resources needed to actually do all of the new alternatives?
have you ever....AVK and dissociate rehearsal / associate....also as if....model....other contexts Or 6 step 8. Is there any part of me that is not completely comfortable with any of the new alternatives?
9. Does any part not have the behaviors necessary to implement the new alternatives?
10. Any part not 100 percent committed to the new choices?
C. Choices
1. Would any part like additional choices?
2. Does any part need anything not previously stated?
3. Are you the person you need to be to use the choices generated?
4. Would anything interfere with using the new choices?
5. Could anything interfere with using the new choices?
6. Are there times the new choices will not be appropriate?
7. Is there anything about what the choices mean that would in any way interfere with using the new choices?
8. What will happen when you use the choices...do you feel good about using them?
9. Have you learned all the things you need to learn from the old things you used to do in those situations?
10. Have you learned the things you need to learn to be able to use the new alternatives easily are readily?
11. Do any part disagree with any of the new choices?
D. Intentions
1. All intentions have 3 or more ways to be fulfilled?
2. Do all parts recognize that their intention's are part of a greater whole?
3. Do all parts recognize the value of the positive intentions of every other part?
4. Are there any parts that are not appreciated by all other parts?
5. Does any part have evil, negative, or destructive intentions?
6. Are you hiding anything?
7. Are you pretending that this will work?
8. Is there a question that I shouldn't ask you?
E. Emotions
1. How do you feel about yourself?
2. How do you feel about how you feel about yourself?
3. How are you feeling now?
4. How do you feel about how you are feeling now?
5. Are there any feeling, sensations, or emotions that have not been expressed?
6. Are there any emotions, feelings or body sensations that you have been suppressed?
7. Are there any emotions, feelings, or sensations that have not been acknowledged?
8. Are there any emotions, feelings or sensations that you would like to acknowledge?
9. How do you feel about all aspects of your self (all of your parts)?
10. Is there any part of yourself that you don't like?
11. How do you feel about how you feel about all the parts we communicated with today?
12. How do you feel about the patterns we addressed today? How do you feel about that?
13. How do you feel about the future? How do you feel about that?
14. How do you feel about the past? How do you feel about that?
15. How do you feel about the situations / people that are related to the changes you made? How do you feel about that?
16. How do you feel about your new behaviors and choices? How do you feel about that?
17. Are you confident?
18. Do you have any doubts that your choices will be sufficient?
19. Do you have any fear?
F. Finishing
1. Is everything OK?
2. Are you ready, willing and able to use your new choices / behaviors?
3. Are you eager, excited and enthusiastic about your new choices / behaviors?
4. Are you eager, excited and enthusiastic in general?
Depending on what comes up at each step a variety of things can be done including entering 6 step reframing or visual squash from that step, or recycling back to phase 2 of Reverse Reframing.
John Grinder's Modelling Strategy
1) Clarify initial outcome after scanning context.
2) Establish "lifelines" / "kickouts" (task-driven, time-driven, signal-driven, etc.)
3) Stop The World (disassociate from past experience, direct visual - auditory channels to peripheral inputs, stop internal dialogue, relax muscles from unnecessary tension)
4) Immerse self in context
5) Respond to corrective wisdom and access appropriate resources
6) Step out of context and move to meta - level.
7) Review choice points from multiple perceptual positions
8) Substitute new behaviors at choice points and review
Meta – Model
Nominalization – Turn back into an ongoing, active process & Specify. Specify Deletions. Outcome. Evidence. How do you do it? When do you do it? How would someone else do it? What are the steps - what would you have to do first, 2nd, 3rd in order to __Nominalize? Challenge obstacles / consequences to choice of . Choice. Challenge universality.
Mind Reading – Specify Evidence - Model of the World – So What? Logical Levels of Therapy. Follow up by challenging / reframing that evidence = mind read.
Cause Effect – Specify process - Choice - Model of World - Counter Examples & Difference – Outcome – So What? Logical Levels of Therapy.
Equivalence – Specify process / Counter Example & Difference / Model of World / Outcome. Logical Levels of Therapy.
Presuppositions – Specify Process & Evidence / Deletions / Outcome / Counter Example.
Lost Performative / Comparitives – Compared to What or who? / Source - Ownership – who says? For whom / Evidence/ Specify Process / Outcome / Model of the World / Counter Examples / Difference / Index / So What? Logical Levels of Therapy.
Universal Qualifier – All ? Every? Never?
Have you ever? Counter – Example.
Difference
Specify Nouns & Verbs
Evidence / Model of the World
What would(not) happen if did(n’t)?
Modal Operators – possibility, necessity, desirability, probability
What would(n’t) happen if did(n’t)?
What causes or prevents? What would have to happen?
Choice (shift Modal operator)
Chunk down to Can (Can’t to Can)
Specify the process
Counter Example / Index => difference
Model of World
Evidence
Outcome
So What?
AS IF RESOURCE
Logical Levels of Therapy.
Unspecified Verbs – How, specifically? How, exactly? What are the steps? How do you do it?
Unspecified Nouns – Who or What Specifically / Exactly?
Deletions – About Who or What?
Lack of Time / Place Reference – Where and When?
Other Frames = Outcome, Evidence, Difference, Relevance, Ecology, Appropriateness
So What reponses include:
SO? So What? How is that a problem? What’s wrong with that? Who really cares?
What difference does it make? Are you sure? Could you be mistaken?
Do you have all possible information necessary to know what this really means?
Could that be a misperception or misinterpretation? To what degree? Is it worth it?
Ultimately, is this really all that important? Who’s idea was this in the first place?
Where is it written? What does it matter if? Would it change anything if it was(n’t)?
Does anyone else share that opinion? Do you even believe what you are saying at all?
Is that who you really are? How is it relevant?
Is it a thought worth having?
Maybe it's actually 1,000 times worse than that, if it was 1,000 times worse than you thought,
what would it be like? how is that different from what's actually going on?
Counter Example Responses:
All? Always? Repeat back and add additional Universals.
Necessarily? - especially for challenging meaning or causality
How, Specifically?
Is it possible that the opposite could happen?
Have you ever __ opposite ___?
Has Anyone Ever? Do you know anyone who has?
Is it possible for anyone?
What have to happen in order for ?
Has it ever (not) happened?
What stops / makes impossible ___?
What would happen if ___ ?
How might the opposite be true?
Could you imagine the circumstances necessary for X to occur?
Is it happening right now?
What are common times when it happens? -- for instance confidence -- when eating, brushing teeth
Follow Up by Exploring the differences between Counter Example and Generalization.
Neutralizing Experience
1. Think of a traumatic / difficult experience or a fear.
2. Define a moment of safety on either side of experience.
3. See yourself in that situation on a small black and white screen.
4. Float out of body so you can watch yourself watching yourself.
5. run movie of waht happened.
6. step into it in color at end and rewind rapidly.
New Behavior Generator Strategy
a. Choose a goal - I want ____.
b. If you find that your goal is stated with negation ask, “If I was already able to stop X, What
will I be doing instead?”
c. How will I know when I’m able to? What does something similar I
can do feel like when I do it?
1. If I could already X - what would that look like? If I was already
able to X, what would I look like?
2. Construct a full image of what you would look like if you were in
the act of achieving the full goal. both above and next to yourself
looking at self.
a. chunk down. Is there any portion of my goal I can see myself
achieving? Can I see myself accomplishing the first step?
visualize yourself successfully achieving the smaller part .
b. Is there something similar to my goal that I can already do?
visualize what you do in that situation and edit or modify the image
to fit the goal.
c. Who do I know that is already able to fully achieve the goal?
visualize what the other person does to be successful. Now,
visualize yourself doing what you saw the model do.
3. Step inside of the image so you feel as though you are doing right
now what you just saw yourself doing. What would you be seeing, hearing
and feeling?
4. Does it feel like I can really do it?
5. If not - What is missing or needed?
a. state in positive
b. make a new statement of goal by adding what is missing or needed
into goal with and If I could already X and Y, what would I look like?
This version of the New Behavior Generator strategy is adapted from the work of Robert Dilts.
New Orleans Flexibility Drill
This is a drill for learning to hold resource states constant
Round 1
1. Pick a behavior in someone else that gets you off balance or upset.
2. Anchor a resource state.
3. Imagine someone doing the behavior while you hold the resource
state.
Use the resource anchor to make sure you have access the resource
state. Rehearse until you can maintain the resource state without
using
the anchor.
Round 2
1. Imagine the behavior again. Make a coping response matching the
intensity of the behavior.
2. On cue, immediately return to resource state
Round 3
1. Pick 4 difficult states in yourself.
2. Pick an all purpose resource state and anchor it.
3. Externally Act as if experiencing the difficult state, but maintain
the resource state internally.,
4. “Snap” to return to resource state. - if necessary use anchor.
5. Test by producing context that used to produce “difficult state”
Round 4
1. Create a powerful stacked anchor and a series of positive anchors.
2. establish a scenario where person experiences fear or compulsion.
3. Identify a person who could resourcefully & successfully handle the
situation.
a. Become ____ “role-model” Have ___enter your body.
b. Watch and listen as ___handles the situation.
c. maintain resource state with anchors
d. collapse negative anchors
e. see,hear,a nd feel ____ succeed
f. “negative anchor” makes him feel this way. The more the more.
4. Have __watch and advise while you now handle the situation in yoiur
imagination.
a. Become associated and reexperience the scenario
b. trigger resource anchors
c. apply anchors any time you begin to revert to a negative state.
d. collapse anchors - “negative anchor” makes you feel this way.
e. every time you enjoy it more
5. future pace - repeat with several more scenarios in future.
6. test - just pretend
7. test - for real.
8. Future pace - more situations
Traditionally in NLP, one the things we do in some of the techniques is to talk to, and work with our internal "parts". This is fine, especially because many people already use this metaphor. People will often spontaneously say things like "On one hand, part of me wants to xyz, but on the hand part of me wants abc."
If you are working with people on their areas of difficulty, it is quite common that you'll see someone say something like that.
Here's the thing though, the notion of parts, put us a bit at the effect of whatever pattern we are running in our mind that we call our parts.
A much more causative metaphor to work with, using the same techniques is that of Intentions. Just substitute the Intention for part, and do the same technique. Another metaphor that works well is "pattern", or another is "frame". Pattern, and frame are a little less powerful, and less causative than Intention, but I find those words are more empowering for clients than parts or sub-personalities.
Sometimes the word "part", or even sub-personality is a better match for a particular person, in that case it's totally fine to use those words. If you can get away with it, the words intention and pattern are more powerful.
Other words that you might choose to use that are also more empowering that "parts" include behavior, notion, idea, thought, purpose, goal, value, identity, decision, mission.
In addition to being empowering, these words act to associate.
One place where parts is useful is when you want to dissociate the person from something negative. Shift to something like Intention as soon as you can, especially after you have elicited the positive intention.
Collapse Anchors
1. Anchor a strong positive experience.
2. Anchor situation where you’d like to have this resource available
or an unpleasaant memory.
3. Collapse the anchors “Now take this resource....into this
experience ... and notice how different it is”
4. Test: either fire unresourceful anchor and notice new response or
think of the situation.
a. if not sufficiently changed repeat steps 1 and 2.
Re - Anchoring
1. What is something you’d like to be able to do or do better?
2. What stops you? Anchor the feeling of limitation. We'll call this K-. Anchor 1
3. What causes K- or How do you know to feel K- ? What is the Image or Sound that
precedes K-? What triggers this K- feeling?
4. Anchor the Visual and/or Auditory components (triggers). Anchor 2
5. What feeling would you have to have to do X? - Access and anchor. Anchor 3
6. How will this affect the people around you? Just suppose you already have this
feeling, what would that be like? How would you be different?
7. As you look at or listen to {Anchor 2} take this feeling {Anchor 3} with you.
(fire both anchors simutaneoulsy)
8. Test - Imagine the trigger and notice what happens.
Fire Anchor 2, and you should now have the resourceful feelings of Anchor 3.
9. Future pace - Rehearse your new response (Anchor 3) until you are confident .
This process was suggested by Sean Kearney, and is based on the 6 Step Reframing procedure from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). This would be used with someone who is rigid, doesn't really want to change, or in general for personal evolution.
This process is a bit longer than standard 6 Step Reframing. We begin in the Reverse Reframing protocol by expanding the solution space. We create the opening to change before beginning to change. The starting place is removing objections to changing anything before starting to work. Then removing objections to making a specific change prior to actually attempting to make a change.
This process goes very very deep. It is a very powerful intervention, and in many cases will result in the client expanding their identity.
Phase 1. General Readiness for Change
1. Does any part of you have any objections to making some positive changes today? - if so handle with 6 step reframing, EFT, Timeline Therapy, Visual Squash, sleight of mouth, or whatever is indicated.
2. Are you willing to actually take full responsibility for making these changes now? Are you willing to actually use the new alternatives and choices you create today in the appropriate situations to find out how well they work?
2a Create a fantasy of being someone who easily makes important changes
3. Find 3 new choices each for
a. Making changes,
b. Taking responsibility,
c. Using your new choices.
4. For what purpose will you make these changes today? What will you gain?
5. Set up communication with your unconscious mind
a. Apologize for not appreciating self and unconscious in past
b. Rapport with self
c. Appreciate willingness to change
d. Signal demonstrating parts willingness to learn and create new alternatives choices
e. Appreciation all around
6. Make an Inventory of behavior and feelings that you might want to change, and select one to transform now.
Phase 2 - Making Changes
1. Any objections to changing (goal for the remainder of the session from Phase 1 Step 6 above)?
2. Are you willing to create and use new choices for satisfying your deepest needs and intentions?
3. Find new ways to create choices
4. What are your deepest, and highest intentions as a person? (Be sure these are positive, if not, continue to move to meta-outcome by asking "What is the intention of (last intention expressed?) "
5. Appreciation of self, and your inner mind for having these intentions.
6. Is there anything you wish to communicate (say) to your inner mind? Is there anything your inner mind wants to communicate (say) to you?
7. Intention - Recognizing and appreciating how it supports other intentions, and how your other intentions support it, and are aligned with it.
8. Create 3 or more new ways to achieve all your positive and valuable intentions.
9. Are you willing to use these new choices and ways of being in the appropriate situations to find out how well they actually work?
9a. Enjoy watching a fantasy of the new you with your new choices, in the situations that in the past would have been difficult in those old ways.
10. Does any part of your inner mind have any objections to any of the new alternatives? (if so recycle to Phase 2, step 1.)
A vast amount, if not all effective change work happens like this:
1) Clarify your desired goals.
2) Check for incongruence with achieving your goal.
3) Reframe the incongruence found in step 2.
4) Repeat Step 2 and 3 until there is absolutely zero incongruence. The flip of zero incongruence is CONGRUENCE otherwise known as alignment.
5) Out of your congruence, you will take new actions. You will sort of spontaneously find yourself doing new things in alignment with your goal. If not, this indicates further incongruence to reframe.
6) Out of your new actions, you will get a new set of results. If not, this indicates more incongruence that needs to be reframed.
The essence is the first 4 steps:
1) Define your goal.
2) Check to see if there is any incongruence, any hesitation, any resistance to achieving your goal.
3) Reframing any and all incongruence found in step 2.
4) Repeating steps 2 and 3 until you are completely congruent.
Out of these 4 steps you will find yourself almost compelled to confidently take new actions. These new actions will inevitably lead you producing to new results that are moving you toward the goals you desire.
That is the simplicity of how to change your life, and your results.
Part 0 – Set up
1. Choose a time period to work with.
2. Choose an event to release.
What specific memory comes to mind that doesn’t feel so good?
Pick a specific event to release.
You could also choose to release an event you perceive might
happen in the future, or one that is happening in the now.
3. Decide that it’s OK now to let go of the stress of that event.
a. Would you be willing now to begin to let go of some of the
stress that that event used to have for you in the past? Is it
OK now to just let the stress go?
b. If not OK, what would you have to learn, or do or be, or
have, in order for it to be OK to start to let go now of those
unresolved emotions? Are there any other events or
meanings you’d want to release first for it to be OK to let it
go now?
4. Rate the intensity of that event on a scale from zero to 10.
Where 10 was maximum stress, and zero means it’s balanced, or you now
have only good feelings about it.
Part 1 – Specifying
1. Specify Time. When was it? When did it happen? What time of
day was it? What year? What season? What was the date? What
day was it? How old were you?
2. Specify Location of the Event. Where did it happen? What,
specific part of the planet where you on? What was the exact
location? What was the address where it happened? What
landmarks were nearby? What was it close to?
3. Specify Duration. How long did the event last? What was the
duration? When did it start? When was it over? What let you
know it was done? When did you know you were safe afterwards?
4. Specify People and Things. Who else was there? What was
there?
5. Specify Your Location in the Event. Where were you during the
event? Location-wise, where were you in relationship to the other
people and things in that event?
6. Specify the Location of the Other People and Things. Where
were the other people? Where were the things?
7. Specify Your Activity. What were you doing? How were you
doing it?
8. Specify Others Activity. What were the people doing (one at a
time)? What were the objects doing?
9. Specify Appearance. How did each person or thing in the event
look to you (one at a time)?
10. Perception Then. How did it (the event) seem to you then? How
did the other people seem to you? How did the activities of you
and the other people seem to you then?
11. Perception Now. How does it seem to you now?
Part 2- Reconstructing
1. Go to 15 minutes before the event and turn and look across time to
NOW. Notice how that was.
2. Push the event out into the distance. Put it way out there at about
100 yards or further away in the distance. Watch the event over
there. Let it play through very quickly over there from before the
beginning to after the end.
3. Run it quickly in reverse at high-speed from the end to the
beginning of the event. As if watching a movie rewind in a VCR.
4. What, specifically, happened? Describe what happened.
5. And then what happened?
6. And then what?
7. And then what happened after that?
8. Repeat steps 4-7 until you GO PAST THE END of the event.
9. Repeat steps 1-8 until the event is pretty much flat. Repeat the
process until you have gotten most of the charge off of the event.
This will usually take 2 to 5 times through this process to diminish
and reduce most of the stress that was contained in that event from
the past. It may take 15 or 20 times. Keep going until the stress is
GONE.
10. What were the positive learning’s you needed to learn from that
event?
Part 3 – Releasing Deeper
1. One more time, go through what happened as if you are telling a
story to a friend. Tell it to yourself or the mirror, or any object or
being that doesn’t object. Use a humorous tone of voice while
keeping an outrageous or bizarre and fun look on your face.
2. What did you see? What did it look like? How did it seem to you
then? How does it seem to you now?
3. What sounds did you hear? What did it sound like? How did it
seem to you then? How does it seem to you now?
4. What words were said? What did the words sound like? How did
the words seem to you then? How do they seem to you now?
5. What physical sensations did you feel? What sights and sounds
went with those physical sensations? How did it feel? How would
you describe the physical sensations? How did those sensations
seem to you back then? How do they seem to you now?
6. What is an emotion that you felt then? If that emotion could talk,
what would it say? How did that emotion seem to you then? How
does it seem to you now?
7. A. - What did you need in that situation? What needs weren’t
fulfilled at that time, in that situation? We could also describe a
need as an emotional want. Some common needs or emotional
wants include: Safety, Love, Respect, Affection, Importance, Fun,
Comfort, Growth, Esteem of others, Contribution, Security, Trust,
Empathy, Control, and Approval.
7. B - Whatever needs you had then, give the you back then what you
needed then. You can do this by imagining a beam of light going
from you to the you in that event. Also you can go and interact
with the younger you, love and assure him/her and comfort your
younger self. Embrace the younger you from that event and give
yourself what you needed most then. This is an opportunity to
forgive yourself.
8. Is there any part of the event you wish would have gone
differently? If so, Could you just let go of wanting it to have
happened differently?
Take 5 deep full breath’s and on each exhale imagine sending it into
further and further away out there in the far distance. That’s right,
just let it go.
This process allows us to fully take advantage of the power of
indexing from General Semantics. Indexing separates things out, and
literally causes the unpleasant emotional energy to be released from the
event.
If there is any stress left – you have three options. You can repeat
these questions again for that event. Or you can find an earlier moment that
led up this moment, and use the indexing questions with that earlier point in
time that contributed to the situation you are exploring. A third option is to
notice if there happen to be any particular aspects of the memory that stands
out as having a little bit more to release and focus the indexing questions on
just that particular aspect.
Relaxing vs. Resisting
This is best experienced from a curious and relaxed frame of mind. The
reason that a past event can cause us stress is we resist it. We protest it. We
object to it. This may be somewhat useful at the time it occurred.
However, later on as you look way back on it in the distance past, it’s over.
There is no longer the necessity to do anything other than be curious about
it. Every moment in your past has a gift for you. You can only discover
what it is if you accept it.
At this point any negative response will likely have lessened, and it is
easy to begin to search for positive meanings. Questions to facilitate this
include:
Part 4 - Optimism
1. What part of what happened was, or could be valuable to you?
2. What about this was, or could be valuable to other people?
3. What did you do right?
4. What is or could be good about this?
5. How might this benefit you in the future? How did this benefit you
at the time.
6. What are the positive and empowering learnings that you need to
have learned from this that will make you even more capable,
effective and resourceful in the future?
7. How could you use this? How does it serve you?
8. What part of it was fun? What could you enjoy about that event?
9. What about this gives you more choices in the future?
10. What advantage is there in this having happened?
11. What did you like about? What could you have like about it?
12. What about the event is humorous as you think about it now?
What is the funniest thing about it? What about that event could
you laugh about now?
Meditation is simple, proven by dozens of scientific studies to be effective, and in my opinion essential for anyone who is interested in improving themselves.
In fact, if you aren't meditating for at least 10 minutes everyday then either of a couple of things is the case:
1) You started meditating at some point but dropped it out. If this is true for you what this means is that you ran into some kind of a problem that interferred with your meditation practice and therefore it would benefit you to troubleshoot your meditation practice find the snarl and unravel it.
2) A common reason many people give is that they have trouble fitting it into your schedule. On the surface this seems legit enough, right. However, consider that we are only talking about minimum of 10 minutes per day. 10 MINUTES! to get some nice benefits. Now assuming you are reasonably intelligent, and reasonably empowered as a person you can find 10 minutes a day if you want to. That is the bottom line. So, if you have been giving this as a reason for not meditating, and you already know how to meditate, it means there is an underlying reason you aren't getting enough benefits from your meditation practice to make it worth your while.
It very well may be that you haven't been meditating in so long that whatever snarl that you ran into is no longer there. So, let's assume that that's the case, and get you back to it. If something shows up, then we will just handle whatever shows up.
Thus, my recommendation for you if you fall into this category is to first review a meditation technique that appeals to you. Then, schedule 10 minutes a day (Remember, you had been saying you didn't have time, so lets just have you start with 10 minutes.) Then follow through and do your meditation for 10 minutes a day.
If goes well, that's excellent! Congratulate yourself on getting back to it, and enjoy the benefits.
If it doesn't go so well, then go to the meditation troubleshooting checklist.
3) You just plain haven't learned how to meditate.
In this article we'll focus on this third reason, not knowing how.
First of all, please understand, as with so many things in life there is no single one right way to meditate. There are thousands and thousands of variations. We'll cover a few of the more popular styles.
1) Mantra Meditation. A mantra is a sound, word or phrase you repeat over and over again during your meditation. This is silent, internal repetition. Mantra repetition out loud is called chanting. While chanting is a valuable practice, it is different from meditation.
a) Pick a word or short phrase - some possible examples include Now, Love, Peace, Relax, Let go, One, Ok
b) Close your eyes and relax your body.
c) As you exhale, calmly repeat your word or phrase.
d) Continue for 10 - 20 minutes.
2) Centering Prayer. This is very similar to Mantra Meditation, except that instead of being tied to your breathing, you repeat your word or phrase anytime you notice that you have any thought, or feeling. This process comes from Catholic monks.
3) Zazen. This is from Zen Buddhism. Sit with your eyes slightly open, and with each exhale count from 1 to 10. So - exhale "one", inhale, exhale "two", etc. If you get distracted, or lose count start over at "one".
There are many, many other ways to meditate. Many of them are variations on these 3 basic styles. You can change from one kind of meditation to another with each time you meditate.
Many people find that 2 practice periods, one in the morning and one in the evening of 20 minutes or so each works rather well.
If 2 sessions of 20 minutes each seems like a lot to you, then start with 20 minutes a day, or even 10 minutes if you don't feel like you can spare more than that.
If you meditate less than 10 minutes a day, it's better than nothing, and you will see some benefit, however, I always encourge at least 10 minutes a day.
Bon Voyage, good meditation journeys to you !
Robert Holzhauser
I've found that many people don't meditate because their experience of meditation is unpleasant and stressful. There are specific difficulties that are sometimes encountered. Generally, that is one of the advantages of working with a good meditation teacher, they can guide you. However, most meditation teachers don't have this full set of distinctions.
Furthermore, a good meditation teacher is not always easy to find. While this list of remedies to meditation problems is not a substitute for working with a truly outstanding teacher, my hope is that it will help folks to smooth out many of the obstacles that keep them from meditating on a regular basis.
This is a troubleshooting check list for meditation.
Every meditation difficulty has specific and remediable causes. Many times people try to plow through things, which is ok, unless it interferes significantly with your meditation.
Furthermore, and especially when someone has signifcant stress while meditating or has even completely abandoned meditating, there may be multiple factors to be handled.
1) Are you meditating while you are tired?
If so, meditate after a nap or a full nights sleep.
2) Are you meditating while you haven't gotten enough sleep?
If so, meditate after a nap or a full nights sleep.
3) Are you meditating while dehydrated?
Many people do not drink enough water. The minimum suggested amount is 1 oz of water for every 2 pounds of body weight. A generalization is you should be drinking at least 3 quarts of water each day. Drink at least 3 quarts of water for 3 days, and you should notice a difference in how smoothly your meditation goes. This needs to become a habit.
4) Were you hungry during your meditation?
Eat a good meal, with some protein that fills you up an hour or so before your meditation. Not only can the sensation of hunger be distracting, but the physiological state of hunger can cause our minds to drift, and make it more difficult to focus.
5) Were you tired because you were too full?
Wait an hour or two after eating before meditating.
6) Was the environment too noisy?
Find a different place or time to meditate, or handle the source of the noise, or use some sort of noise blocking ear covers, or a white noise generator. Alternately, soothing soundscapes or light classical music may be helpful.
7) How was the room temperature?
If not comfortable - adjust either the room temperature, or your body temperature by wearing or removing additional layers, hats, gloves, whatever is needed. You may need to get the heaters or AC fixed. Also, if you may need to change locations, or times.
8) Not starting with a relaxed posture?
Take 30 seconds or so, at the very beginning of your meditation to relax your body.
9) Is your attention on things you need to do?
A) Are any of them pressing, for instance you will get a parking ticket if you don't put money in the meter? Anything that is pressing, handle ASAP.
B) For other incomplete actions that don't need to be handled immediately:
i) make a complete, written, specific list of what needs to be done, by when.
ii) Make a plan for doing the actions. What will you do when.
iii) Set your list aside while you meditate
iv) After you meditate, at the earliest possible opportunity begin to take the actions you outlined in steps i and ii above.
C) Make a regular practice of making such a list on a daily basis.
10) Do you not completely understand the meditation process you are doing?
a) re-study the process, until you are very clear on how it goes.
b) imagine yourself meditating this way ... does it make sense?
c) Try it out for a short meditation, say 3 - 5 minutes and see how it goes
d) If it's still confusing at this point consult another reference, or pick another style of meditation.
11) Is some of your attention distracted by keeping track of the time?
a) get some kind of a timing device, or a recording that is X minutes long of soothing music. That way you can let yourself be fully absorbed into your meditation without any attention on the time, knowing that you will be roused once the time is over.
b) Another possibility is to meditate with one other person, or a group of other people, and have one person designated as the time keeper, and rotate who plays the time keeper role.
c) Yet another possibility is to have some kind of objective reference point. For instance, if your meditation is the recitation of a mantra timed with your breathing, then you can use a mala, which is a set of beads on a string, with one clearly marked. With each repetition you move 1 bead along the mala. Keep track of how many times you go around the mala, which traditionally has 108 beads. If you are timing your mantra with your breathing, then if you breath approximately 4 times per minute, it would be about a 20 to 25 minute meditation to go around the mala once.
d) Since it's ideal to have as long of a meditation period as we possibility can, if your schedule will allow, you go until your legs start to fall asleep or you are otherwise somewhat uncomfortable, then stop or take a short break.
12) If you are using a mantra, do you clearly know what the mantra means?
If not, look it up dictionaries and similar reference materials, until you know exactly what the word or phrase means.
13) Have you drank alcohol in the last 24 hours?
If you have, wait until it completely wears off and at least 24 hours have passed before you attempt to meditate. Meditation is not recommended while even slightly intoxicated.
14) Have you used any "recreational" or "street" drugs in the last 3 days?
If you have, it is recommended that you wait until 72 hours have passed before meditating.
15) Have you consumed more than the equivalent caffeine of 2 cups of coffee?
If so, drink some water (couple quarts), take some B vitamins, and wait a couple of hours, then give it another go.
Reduce, or eliminate your daily caffeine intake.
16) Have had you had much refined sugar in the last 12 hours?
Too much refined sugar tends to interfere with attention, and cause fluctuations in mood. You will probably have more success with your meditation practice if you dramatically reduce or completely eliminate your intake of refined sugar products.
17) Is anyone discouraging, or interfering with your meditation practice?
a) who specifically?
b) How specifically were they discouraging to you?
* Be as detailed and specific as possible.
You may discover that what they are doing is not so bad afterall. Perhaps that is not the case, either. Occasionally when someone is having thoughts that some one or some group is discouraging their meditation, upon reviewing the situation thoughtfully you might find that in fact you had over - generalized or jumped to conclusions about what their behaviors mean.
c) Have you done anything to them that could have upset them?
If in fact you have done something that they got upset about, that could the cause of their discouragement.
If you have done something like this, using discretion, and good judgement, consider how to best make amends with them. This may include repairing any damage done, apologizing, asking for forgiveness, confessing what you have done, etc.
Sometimes these conversations are not easy. It is not always in everyones best interest to be forthcoming about such matters. However, 99% of the time, even though it may very scary, it is in fact for the greater good to fully talk about such things.
Be sure that you are not coming clean about something in a way that is designed for an ulterior "negativ motive" such as to get revenge or something.
Once you have done your best to handle the situation, and taken responsibility for your part in it, usually things will calm down, and they will cease giving you a hard time.
Occasionally, there are some people, that even when you go above and beyond what they could expect in order to make things right with them, they will still persist in negative behavior toward you. In these cases do what you can to avoid them as completely as possible.
d) Is there any secret you are worried that they may have found out about?
If so, write down specifically what the secret is, who specifically you think found out, when and where, and how you think they found out. Then, what specifically made you think they know. This will take the pressure off, and give you greater clarity regarding this person. Do this for every secret you think they might know.
It is also recommended that you share with the person the secret you have been hiding. Again use discretion, and realize that in about 98 or 99 percent of the time, this is in fact the best course of action. Furthermore, people usually know more about us than we think, and it will help them as well when you clear the air.
e) Boldly, and courageously ask the person to support you in your endeavors to improve yourself. Also, ask them how you can be more supportive of them.
18) Are you meditating to impress someone, or to win someones favor or approval?
If so, and if you have no other reason to meditate, it would be best to at least for now, put meditation aside and pursue things that are of interest to you, and that you see the benefit of doing.
19) Is there some recent traumatic experience that you can't stop thinking about?
While meditation can be helpful for these situations, it will not be smooth. It is advised to pursue a technique that specifically is designed for trauma resolution such as EFT, TFT, EMDR, or Index Releasing, or Visual Kinesthetic Dissociation.
If the incident is so intense that you have a very strong reaction to it, please consider working with a professional counselor who is skilled at one or more of the above methods.
20) Do you experience strange phenomena such as spiritual beings visiting you during meditation?
In general, the best thing to do if you think this is happening is to treat the image or appartion the same way you would a thought, by noticing it, and then returning to the meditation practice.
21) Do you have a regular time and place for meditation?
Establishing a routine for when, where and how you meditate makes it easy because you take the decision factor out of it. You are spending time trying to figure if, or when, or how, you just do it.
22) Are you meditating everyday?
Daily meditation will give you a kind of momentum that causes you to gradually getting more and more profound, noticeable, and "deep" results.
23) Is your meditation too short?
Each meditation session should be at least 10 minutes long, and ideally between 20 minutes to 45 minutes. Anything shorter that 10 minutes may produce enough benefit to be noticeable, and thus may be experienced as discouraging.
24) Are you trying to achieve Enlightenment in an unreasonably short time frame?
It's fine to have a lofty goal, but not being realistic can cause you to put too much effort into meditation which is counter productive. Furthermore, it can be disheartening when you get close to the established timeline, only to find that you still many of your same patterns.
Historically, most people that achieved Enlightenment, including Guatama Buddha worked at it relentlessly for years, at least 7 to 10 years, of 18 or 20 hours a day solidly meditating. If you are not a full time meditator, then probably best to think in terms of multiple decades.
Our basic goal at Wisdom Strategy Research Institute is to accelerate this process, so we have high hopes for you. Nonetheless, if meditation is the only transformational method you pursue, I really would not expect to see you achieve enlightenment in only a few weeks or months. Not that's it's completely impossible, just that it would be extremely unusual for such a thing to happen.
25) Do you have a disempowering or distracting story about the mantra, or the practice?
a) The easiest fix in this case is to change mantras, practices to one that you are comfortable with.
b) If for some reason, you want to continue using your current mantra, or practice, then take a close look at the rationality of your story. Does it actually make sense? Is it based on fact? What are the facts, and what is the guess or conjecture? Do you see that your story could be a misperception or misinterpretation? Do you have all available data necessary to know exactly what happened, and what it means? What else could the facts mean?
TO BE CONTINUED...